Why are guys on Grindr so damn shady?

Posted by Abbie Anker on Monday, May 20, 2024

Yes of course I’m going to respond to a picture of a palm tree.

I don’t get it. Guys on Scruff almost always show their face and are generally good looking. Guys on Grindr may or may not be attractive, but I can’t take the bullshit. No face picture, disappearing face pictures, face pictures with sunglasses, cock and ass pics with no greeting first. It’s like an app for dudes on the spectrum with no idea how to behave or interact properly.

by Anonymousreply 95November 20, 2022 11:05 PM

Who cares? It’s a hookup, not bible study. Keep swiping, Mary.

by Anonymousreply 1May 12, 2022 1:27 PM

OP, you fragile little snowflake. I condole you.

by Anonymousreply 2May 12, 2022 1:34 PM

[quote] Guys on Scruff almost always show their face and are generally good looking. Guys on Grindr may or may not be attractive, but I can’t take the bullshit.

Then stick to Scruff

Problem solved.

by Anonymousreply 4May 12, 2022 1:37 PM

[quote]Yes of course I’m going to respond to a picture of a palm tree.

Palm trees remind me of vacations and vacations sex. Why wouldn’t I respond? 🌴

Grindr sucks. Too many fragile Gen Z Mary’s that report you when you want to offer money to blow them and munch on their hole…

by Anonymousreply 5May 12, 2022 1:40 PM

Grindr sucks. I joined a few weeks back ago. I'm an exclusive bottom, and it seems that so is everyone else with a 10-mile radius. Are there NO tops anywhere anymore?

by Anonymousreply 6May 17, 2022 1:11 AM

i have a fake account to vet folks to see if they are "real" as much as one can.

i also stalk exes.

by Anonymousreply 8May 17, 2022 1:17 AM

Homosexuals are shady by default hunty

by Anonymousreply 9May 17, 2022 1:17 AM

Grindr is fucked up beyond belief.

It's not possible to meet anyone of value on that site.

It's all prostitution whores.

No normal people go on Grindr.

by Anonymousreply 10May 17, 2022 1:20 AM

I'd had more success on Sniffies but so many old people on it. I agree Grindr is filled with trolls and weirdos. So many guys overrate their own attractiveness too. They always ask for nudes even if they are blank profile. Expect to get blocked or deleted once you share pics too. I heard Hinge is better. But I'm fatigued by these apps and want to go out to bars to meet guys.

by Anonymousreply 11May 17, 2022 1:20 AM

Grindr is full of picture collectors and trolls, like E**** M*******.

I'll never send my personal photos on Grindr, because of assholes like him.

by Anonymousreply 12May 17, 2022 1:23 AM

Maybe it's not a palm tree?

by Anonymousreply 13May 17, 2022 1:25 AM

I love the hot most likely straight guys who con you by offering massage services or asking you to register for safe sex and demand you send money. So many of them.

by Anonymousreply 14May 17, 2022 1:26 AM

R12

Are you the same one bringing him up in every thread? Wow, you’re obsessed with him.

by Anonymousreply 15May 17, 2022 1:27 AM

One time I got an ad for a Bible app pop up in Grindr. I'm not kidding.

by Anonymousreply 16May 17, 2022 1:28 AM

No, R15.

I'm not that person.

But I feel like there are a lot of Grindr trolls who are like him.

by Anonymousreply 17May 17, 2022 1:29 AM

[quote] One time I got an ad for a Bible app pop up in Grindr. I'm not kidding.

Me too!!! It's so fucking bizarre.

Like, why are they advertising on Grindr????

It's a total buzz kill and boner killer.

by Anonymousreply 18May 17, 2022 1:30 AM

Grindr is indeed sketchy as OP describes, but Scruff, teeming as it is with narcissists and validation addicts, is its own kind of cesspool. Primped, preened, and desperately seeking someone who finds them as hot and interesting as they find themselves, I've been engaged in chat by countless guys who, after the introductory "what's up?", go silent unless I'm actively asking questions. It's like a goddamned interview.

by Anonymousreply 20May 17, 2022 1:31 AM

does no one go to the gym anymore?

by Anonymousreply 21May 17, 2022 1:33 AM

There's a lot of trans men on the app. Some don't disclose it but it's obvious in most pics. The trans women don't bother me that much because at least I can recognize them. The trans men who don't say it annoy me because it's dishonest.

by Anonymousreply 22May 17, 2022 1:36 AM

yes! i fucked a pussy by accident!

by Anonymousreply 23May 17, 2022 1:39 AM

There's always a surplus amount of hungry old bottoms who stalk your profile and send pics of their assholes

by Anonymousreply 24May 17, 2022 1:48 AM

As much as “Squirt” is criticized, at least you know what you’ll get there, usually.

by Anonymousreply 25May 17, 2022 1:48 AM

Grindr's really a front for Flickr. Guys want to collect pictures, especially the ones with no pic. I feel for this generation of young gay men.

Between the drag obsession, being "queer" vs. gay, having to decide if he/him wants to be he/him or they/them or whatever, and not being able to connect in person, they'll be a weak group who will easily be pounced on next by the Repuglicans.

SLAAAAAAY.

by Anonymousreply 26May 17, 2022 1:53 AM

I’m creating a new gay sex app. It’s called Poles N Holes.

by Anonymousreply 28May 17, 2022 4:24 AM

my guess would be they are cheating?

by Anonymousreply 29May 17, 2022 4:26 AM

Guys with no pics on their profile who have not sent you any pics after you send them a bunch, saying "Face.".

by Anonymousreply 31May 17, 2022 4:32 AM

The sad truth is that Grindr really is really going the way of the dinosaur. While I still have the app and use it sporadically during travel, I rarely have any kind of meaningful communication or a decent hookup through it anymore. Granted, I am starting to age out of the hookup culture and my body and looks aren't what they used to be, even as recent as two years ago. I was talking to a younger guy on Sniffies a while back and I asked if he was on Grindr on as well. He said no one he knows uses the app any longer, as they all seem to prefer "trading socials" and using Twitter and SnapChat for hookup purposes. I don't exactly know how that works, but it's ap[arently the new way of doing things for the younger generations.

by Anonymousreply 32May 17, 2022 5:10 AM

[quote]The sad truth is that Grindr really is really going the way of the dinosaur. While I still have the app and use it sporadically during travel, I rarely have any kind of meaningful communication or a decent hookup through it anymore. Granted, I am starting to age out of the hookup culture and my body and looks aren't what they used to be, even as recent as two years ago.

Damn, R32. Word for word, I could have written this about myself.

by Anonymousreply 33May 17, 2022 6:15 AM

“ Guys on Scruff almost always show their face and are generally good looking.”

Idk, op. I used to swear the same thing, but as of the last year or so I’m finding myself getting generally hotter and more masculine guys off Grindr (talking just hookups tho…). I’m in nyc though - wonder if that makes a difference. Anyone else feel the same?

That said - do agree that guys on scruff are much more likely or willing to show their faces, and that Grindr generally is a much bigger… erm, spectrum of choices than Scruff, nyc or elsewhere

by Anonymousreply 34May 17, 2022 6:25 AM

“Scruff, teeming as it is with narcissists and validation addicts, is its own kind of cesspool. “

Oh God. This too. Was very revelatory to me when I began checking how low the “response rate” of many dudes on there is, yet are online seemingly 24/7…. (and ones I know exist IRL- not talking about bots and the like)

by Anonymousreply 35May 17, 2022 6:30 AM

I just got back on scruff and it requires you show a face. And you have to verify yourself with some AI-backed posed photos. Otherwise you’re pretty limited.

I want an app where if you meet a guy, afterwards you can rate him one to five stars. Like Amazon. And then you could filter for 4 star (or 3 star if you’re desperate) guys.

by Anonymousreply 36May 17, 2022 6:52 AM

I don't mind cannabis users on grindr but the ones who publicly put the capital T in their name or descriptions meaning meth is just sad.

by Anonymousreply 37May 17, 2022 7:29 AM

Cannabis users are less objectionable than stupid smelly drunks.

by Anonymousreply 38May 17, 2022 12:12 PM

I don't know if it's my age or what but people looking at my Grindr profile has really dropped off in the last year or so. Very occasionally I'd get 1000 views a day, now it is rarely out of double figures.

I don't get this thing about 'pic collectors'. There's plenty of porn on the internet you know, and it's always featuring guys a lot hotter than you. People don't need to resort to Grindr to see some cock.

by Anonymousreply 39May 17, 2022 12:21 PM

That would never work r36. Like Amazon, you would have a ton of people leaving idiotic one star reviews that have nothing to do with quality. Plus all those five star reviews from people who give everything five stars.

by Anonymousreply 40May 17, 2022 12:40 PM

are you trying to meet a person or a penis?

by Anonymousreply 41May 17, 2022 12:46 PM

R5: "Grindr sucks. Too many fragile Gen Z Mary’s that report you when you want to offer money to blow them and munch on their hole…"

R10: "It's all prostitution whores."

So according to r5, nobody wants money, and according to r10, everybody wants money. Well...which is it?!

by Anonymousreply 42May 17, 2022 1:05 PM

Tinder is slightly better but so many gays lie about wanting relationships. Many just want dick. And they'll match with you but don't reply or flake out when they agree to meet. I think gay bars or gyms are the best bet for no bullshit. But for small town suburban gays who don't want to travel far, these apps are all they have.

by Anonymousreply 43May 17, 2022 1:29 PM

[quote]I don't get this thing about 'pic collectors'. There's plenty of porn on the internet you know, and it's always featuring guys a lot hotter than you. People don't need to resort to Grindr to see some cock.

Perhaps I'm wrong but I always thought "pic collectors" referred to guys who get other guys to send them pics so they can then post those pics as their own -- i.e., they don't want to post their own face pic, so they use one they got from someone else instead. I've seen several profiles over the years (particularly on sites like Manhunt or A4A) in which someone is accusing another poster of using his pics and warning others to avoid that person at all costs.

by Anonymousreply 44May 17, 2022 4:20 PM

R44 - I've had that happen to me actually. It's creepy as fuck.

I also feel quite sorry for someone who think they're so hideous that using my photos is a step up.

by Anonymousreply 45May 17, 2022 7:26 PM

We’re not all beautiful spring chickens like R45…

by Anonymousreply 46May 23, 2022 1:22 PM

R6- Are you new?

Amongst gay men it’s ALL bottoms looking for their TOP in shining armor.

by Anonymousreply 47May 23, 2022 1:44 PM

As if trolling for dick makes one a candidate for sainthood.

by Anonymousreply 48May 23, 2022 1:46 PM

If there's a block limit, I must be nearing it.

If a guy messages me and I'm not interested I just block him, because I'll either get repeated "hi" messages, or worse, rude messages making it seem like I'm bad for not finding them attractive.

No drama, just block. Easy.

by Anonymousreply 49May 23, 2022 2:16 PM

The sad closet cases that will freak out on ya are generally not on Scruff, which is one reason to prefer it. There's whores on Scruff like any gay app, but they are of the hot escort variety, not poor addicts, so at least their profiles are nice to look at.

by Anonymousreply 50May 23, 2022 2:20 PM

Grinder: Give us your old, your fat and your bottoms.

BTW, we can't host because our wives never leave the house.

by Anonymousreply 51May 23, 2022 2:41 PM

R51 I live in a nice complex but the surrounding neighborhood has a lot of Latinos, and none of them can EVER host. Lol.

by Anonymousreply 52May 23, 2022 6:37 PM

R52, do you live in the Long Beach area?

by Anonymousreply 53May 23, 2022 6:55 PM

Do clean cut gays use scruff or is it mostly hipsters?

by Anonymousreply 54May 23, 2022 7:25 PM

Some of those pictures, like the palm tree but also of snowy mountain peaks, Wonder Woman, Ginger in Gilligan's Island, etc. indicate what they are SELLING, not necessarily using.

by Anonymousreply 55May 23, 2022 9:14 PM

I hate DL guys. They are so fucking selfish. They never host and they won't come over if you have roommates because they swear can't be seen. And if they do host. They expect you to pay a Lyft or Uber to their house. They never show their faces and when they have pics it's the same pose in the mirror but no head. But yet demand you to give them pics of everything. They're idiots to think they can be anonymous on this app.

by Anonymousreply 56May 24, 2022 1:30 AM

^ Perhaps I’m an anomaly… but some of the best sex (and kissing / foreplay) I’ve had have been with DL bi dudes. And not only masculine ones, but also fit / muscular.

On the contrary. Most of the Hell’s Kitchen cunts are nice to look at, but either mediocre in bed, or just downright awful (and this is assuming you actually meet them - I’d say at least 3/4 are on the apps for just online attention, or flakier than a 15 year old girl).

by Anonymousreply 57May 24, 2022 11:54 PM

R57 Generally speaking, ugly to average looking guys are way better in bed than hot guys. Because they know that they have to work harder to make up for what they lack in looks. Some of the best blowjobs and rim jobs I have ever received in my life have been from average to dumpy looking guys. The hot ones just lie there and want you to do everything for them.

by Anonymousreply 58May 25, 2022 12:06 AM

R58, you’re making the assumption that the bi DL guys I’ve been with are ugly or average. That has not been true at all. In fact WAY more my type than the typical fem/soft faced HK ho. In addition to muscles, these dudes have had a handsome and genuinely masculine / non-circuit party looking face.

by Anonymousreply 59May 25, 2022 1:51 AM

R59 Actually, I was talking about my experiences rather than yours. I was just adding to the conversation. I will admit, I have been with some ugly hoes, and they ate the ass like a champ.

by Anonymousreply 60May 25, 2022 1:56 AM

Half the HK sluts these days look like they’re pre-transition….

by Anonymousreply 61May 25, 2022 2:01 AM

I'm sorry dl people but I'm slow.

Every time I see HK I think Hong Kong- what the HELL does Hong Kong have to do with the shadiness of Grindr?

Hells Kitchen- I figured it out.

by Anonymousreply 62May 25, 2022 2:49 AM

R59- You mean they did not look like scene queens-which I dare say is a good thing.

by Anonymousreply 63May 25, 2022 2:50 AM

R56- I'm the same slow person who thought HK was Hong Kong. I thought DL was Datalounge. I get it now it means Down Low

by Anonymousreply 64May 25, 2022 3:02 AM

YOu wanted gay acceptance and with assimilation comes shady people

by Anonymousreply 65May 25, 2022 3:19 AM

Umm... shady gays and DL guys predate gay acceptance. In fact they are usually a relic of homophobic environments.

by Anonymousreply 66May 25, 2022 12:11 PM

[quote]So many guys overrate their own attractiveness too. They always ask for nudes even if they are blank profile.

All of my locked pics on Scruff are of my cat. And if a guy gets really pushy, and demanding that I “unlock” I do. Then they usually block me.

by Anonymousreply 67May 25, 2022 12:57 PM

As someone who works a lot and has to get up early. It's so hard to find guys who are willing to wait until the weekend when I'm free to meet up. They're always "now now now." They'll block if you don't answer them in a few hours. I do think a lot of people are just there because they're bored and want attention. A lot of them just want pics with no intention of meeting up. Also apart from trans men who try to catfish. Underage boys are another issue. The ones who usually claim to be 18 to 21 but look much younger. If they hit me up and look too young. I block.

by Anonymousreply 68May 25, 2022 1:04 PM

Nothing new, nothing changed. I'm off the aps. Aged out.

by Anonymousreply 69May 25, 2022 1:06 PM

Serious question, though it came through Scruff, not Grindr, which to me is like opting to holiday in Syria. I am an eldergay (so above 40) and this gayling (32) is constantly chatting me up. I think he's nuts. The other day he sent me three pics, unsolicited. One was of his face, one of his (in fairness big) dick and the other was his asshole. Like, what was he thinking? Seriously. Because I blocked him on the basis I don't need to see that. I get the currency is different by age groups but still, why does someone think a picture of his anus is going to get him where he wants to go? I thought it was bizarre and a total turn off.

by Anonymousreply 70May 25, 2022 1:10 PM

Well aren't you special, R70. Why ask such goddamned stupid questions? You can't imagine that half the men are perfectly fine with such visual information from a potential sex date?

Are you the doily queen? Maiden Aunt Society secretary?

by Anonymousreply 71May 25, 2022 1:12 PM

A lot of people seem to equate poo holes with lady front holes, and they expect that we will jump at it whenever we get a sniff, like we were trained to do (perhaps partially successfully, more than you might realize).

by Anonymousreply 72May 25, 2022 1:14 PM

I'm gay and wouldn't get NEAR a poop chute. And vile uncut penis? DEAL BREAKER!! I like to be wined and dined at a classy establishment like Bonefish Grill and perhaps on the third date, mutual masturbation and frottage. With dental dams, of course!

by Anonymousreply 73May 25, 2022 1:18 PM

Sounds good to me, dirty Dan.

by Anonymousreply 74May 25, 2022 1:19 PM

R68, same here. I’ve never seen so many people off during a weekday or ready to fuck on a weeknight. Oh well.

Do you guys ever use Surge? Or Taimi? Is JACK’D still around?

by Anonymousreply 75May 25, 2022 1:29 PM

I get why 20s-30s guys send dick and hole picks, but I *dont* get why they send videos of them getting fucked or sucking some guy off. I don’t really wanna see you fucking someone else. One time I told guy thanks but no, but could you link me to the guy fucking you in the video?

Blocked.

by Anonymousreply 76May 25, 2022 1:40 PM

OP- I would rather know why used car 🚙 salesmen are so SHADY.

by Anonymousreply 77May 25, 2022 1:49 PM

I have find sex the old fashioned way-

Bathhouse

by Anonymousreply 78May 25, 2022 1:50 PM

R79- It sounds like something cute

by Anonymousreply 80May 25, 2022 5:24 PM

Can't a guy just identify as a palm tree if he feels like it?

by Anonymousreply 81May 25, 2022 5:24 PM

You never know what you'll find on Scruff...

See comment #1,413...

Offsite Link
by Anonymousreply 82May 25, 2022 10:30 PM

Op, you are expecting a lot from complete strangers. It's just sex, right? You won't find your soulmate on those apps.

by Anonymousreply 84July 9, 2022 5:10 AM

R48, guys who say what you just said are usually ugly.

If a hot guy is just laying back and not doing any work, that means you’re a pity fuck for him.

If you were his type I guarantee you he will do tons more than just lie back.

This whole “ugly guys are better at sex” is just something unattractive guys say.

IMO, hot guys are better at Sex 100%.

If they suck at sex, it just means you ain’t turning them on.

by Anonymousreply 86August 19, 2022 4:25 PM

R86, like many things in life, the truth ends up being on neither side of the extremes. I do agree that sometimes people take that whole “ugly dudes are better at sex” thing way too far (and it’s used by many unattractive dudes to make themselves feel better).

However, your post seems to assume a one-time hookup scenario. I’ve been in longer term FWB situations with / dated guys who are conventionally quite attractive (and one in particular with a ginormous dick) and a handful were definitely complete duds and disappointments in bed.

In my experience, the best have been mostly conventionally attractive but not pretentious acting in real-life - giving off that low key, masculine (and confident not cocky) vibe. (Eg not an InstaHoe or OnlyFans freak). Unfortunately they seem to be in increasingly shorter supply these days…..

by Anonymousreply 87August 19, 2022 5:21 PM

Scruff is all partnered guys. Not interested.

[quote]You won't find your soulmate on those apps.

No, you have to go to the gym for that.

by Anonymousreply 88August 19, 2022 5:41 PM

Absolutely FESTOONED with monkey pox.

“A Pox on your house!”

by Anonymousreply 89August 19, 2022 6:02 PM

Scruff is a cesspool of STIs

by Anonymousreply 91September 12, 2022 4:15 PM

Apps are bad but Grindr does seem especially useless. Are 1/2 of the torsos even people?

by Anonymousreply 92September 12, 2022 4:26 PM

Grindr is disgusting and sleazy

by Anonymousreply 93September 12, 2022 4:48 PM

If only Grindr had dudes like this

Offsite Link
by Anonymousreply 94November 20, 2022 9:52 PM

Its all Trannies now. You can't even filter them because that's "transphobic".

by Anonymousreply 95November 20, 2022 11:05 PM

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